If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained in love, chances are you’ve fallen into one of the Four Love Lies in relationships.
Have you ever given everything in love… only to feel unappreciated, unseen, or drained?
I did. For years.
And I thought it was because I just hadn’t found the right love yet.
But the real reason love wasn’t working had nothing to do with who I was with… and everything to do with where I was loving from.
Somewhere along the way, I had fallen into what I now call the Four Love Lies—patterns that quietly drain your energy while convincing you it’s love.
What are The Four Love Lies That Keep You Stuck in a Relationship?
I spent most of my life loving from the wrong place. Not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t know better.
And that’s how I kept falling into the Four Love Lies—patterns that feel like love but quietly drain, exhaust, and break us down.
The Four Love Lies That Quietly Keep You Stuck:
Guilt – “If I don’t do this, they’ll think I don’t love them.”
Over-Responsibility – “If they’re upset, it must be my fault.”
Role-Playing – “A good partner wouldn’t feel this way.”
Transactional Love – “If I do this for them, they’ll love me more.”
These are not love. They are the unconscious beliefs that keep us chasing love, proving ourselves, and feeling emotionally exhausted.
And they kept me trapped—until I saw them for what they were.
The Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything
For years, I told myself I understood love.
After all, I had built a career helping people untangle their relationships. I gave the advice, I studied the patterns, I did the work.
But then, one day, standing in an airport, a single thought landed:
“Sanya… you still don’t know what love is.”
It was a gut punch—because I knew it was true.
If I truly understood love, then why…
- Did my relationships feel so heavy?
- Did the people I loved seem burdened by my love instead of nourished by it?
- Did I give so much… yet still feel unseen?
And then I saw it.
It wasn’t love that was hurting me.
It was where I was giving from.
I had been pouring my heart into love—
- From guilt.
- From over-responsibility.
- From performing roles I thought I should play.
- From an unspoken expectation that love was something I had to earn.
The realization was brutal—but also freeing.
Because once I saw it, I could change it.
How the Love Clarity Method Frees You from Love Lies in Relationships
Love is meant to build you up, not break you down.
And the first step to real, healing, lasting love?
See where you’re loving from.
Before you:
- Say yes when you want to say no.
- Give more when you already feel empty.
- Over-explain yourself just to feel understood.
Pause.
Check where you’re coming from.
Then choose differently.
💡 Frequently Asked Questions About Love Lies in Relationships
❓ What are the Four Love Lies in relationships?
The Four Love Lies are guilt, over-responsibility, role-playing, and transactional love. These patterns look like love but actually drain and hurt you.
❓ How can I tell if I’m loving from the wrong place?
If you feel exhausted, unseen, or like you’re constantly proving your worth, you may be loving from guilt, obligation, or fear—not from clarity.
❓ Can these love patterns be healed?
Yes. With awareness and guidance, you can shift these patterns. The Love Clarity Method helps you pause, identify your motivation, and choose differently.
❓ What is the Love Clarity Method?
It’s a powerful healing framework that helps you check where your love is coming from—so you can break toxic cycles and create connection, not exhaustion.
❓ Is the Love Clarity Method like therapy?
It’s different. While it offers deep emotional insights like therapy, it’s a focused, practical approach to changing how you show up in love—fast.
Are You Ready to Break Free From These Love Lies in Relationships?
If you’re tired of feeling emotionally drained and want to create relationships that bring you clarity, confidence, and connection, here’s how I can help:
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Which Love Lie has kept you stuck the longest? Hit reply and tell me—I read every response.
Because love wasn’t meant to hurt. And once you see that, everything changes.