Most people don’t know this, and that’s why they suffer.
💡 Love is unconditional—you can love someone no matter what.
💡 But relationships? They require conditions.
If you try to play by relationship rules while expecting unconditional love, you’ll get hurt.
If you play by unconditional love while ignoring relationship conditions, you’ll destroy the relationship.
Not knowing this sets people up for pain and confusion.
They stay in relationships that don’t work because no one keeps agreements—because they still love them.
They don’t see the violations as “this won’t work if we can’t keep agreements”—because they think love should be “unconditional.”
They mistake love itself for the function of a relationship, which requires agreements.
But love isn’t the problem.
The problem is: love without agreements won’t allow the relationship to continue.
You can have a situationship or another type of arrangement, but if you want a real relationship, you must be able to make and keep agreements.
The Story of Love That Wasn’t Enough
I once worked with a woman who had been with her husband for 20 years.
She loved him. Deeply.
But she felt alone in the relationship.
- He rarely made time for her.
- He never followed through on his promises.
- She carried the emotional weight of their marriage.
Still, she stayed.
Because she loved him.
One day, through tears, she asked me:
“How do I stop loving him?”
And I told her:
“You don’t have to stop loving him to leave him.”
She thought leaving meant she had to kill the love.
It didn’t.
You don’t need to abandon love.
You need to look at the structure.
And if the structure doesn’t work?
You don’t fight harder for love.
You fight for yourself.
The Two Rules That Will Save You From Heartache
If you’re wondering whether to stay or go, forget about love for a second.
Instead, ask yourself:
📌 Can I be fully myself in this relationship?
📌 Can we make (and keep) real agreements?
Because relationships require conditions.
- If you cannot be fully yourself, it’s not safe.
- If you cannot make agreements, it’s not sustainable.
Love Without Conditions. Relationships With Agreements.
🔹 Love is free. Relationships require commitment.
🔹 Love is limitless. Relationships require boundaries.
🔹 Love is a feeling. Relationships require effort.
If you don’t know the difference, you’ll either:
💔 Sacrifice yourself to keep love alive.
💔 Or sacrifice the relationship trying to make it unconditional.
But once you understand this, you stop fighting for love and start building a real relationship.
Coming Up Next:
Next week, we’ll talk about something that silently destroys relationships—the difference between Complaints vs. Requests.
💌 Part 3: Complaints vs. Requests—How to Get What You Need Without Pushing Love Away (and Why Most People Get This Wrong)
👉 Join the Wise Loving Tribe to learn how to create relationships that truly work.